Cross-Eyed Cow Pizza

Pizzas come in small (10"), medium (12"), large (14"), and party (18") sizes with hand-tossed crust, traditional pizza sauce, mozzarella, and your choice of toppings. Classic combinations include pepperoni, Italian sausage, Canadian bacon and pineapple (Hawaiian), veggie (mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, olives, tomatoes), meat lovers (pepperoni, sausage, ham, bacon), and BBQ chicken. Specialty pies rotate but typically include a buffalo chicken, a four-cheese, a pesto, and Route 66 or cross-eyed-cow-themed creations. Build-your-own with 25+ toppings is always available.

Salads are large and fresh — Caesar with hand-cut romaine and house-made croutons, garden with mixed greens and assorted vegetables, antipasto with cured meats and cheeses. Garlic knots are housemade, baked golden, brushed with garlic butter and parmesan — order an extra basket. Calzones and stromboli are available with similar topping options to the pizzas. Sandwiches include meatball sub, Italian, and chicken parmesan. The kids' menu offers cheese pizza slices, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, and grilled cheese.

Beer selection includes domestic standards (Bud, Coors, Pacifico) plus a rotating selection of local craft brews from the Inland Empire and High Desert breweries. Wine list is short but adequate (red and white house wines, a few bottles). Soft drinks, iced tea, and lemonade for the non-drinkers. Desserts when available include cannoli and tiramisu. Prices are reasonable — most parties of two can eat well for $25-35 including a drink each.

Cross-Eyed Cow Pizza occupies a charming roadside building along National Trails Highway with a small dining room, a counter for ordering, an outdoor patio (weather permitting), and a gift-shop area selling Cross-Eyed Cow T-shirts, hats, mugs, and Route 66 souvenirs. The decor leans into the cow theme — figurines, framed cow art, signage — while honoring the Route 66 location with Mother Road maps, photographs, and memorabilia on the walls. It feels like a friendly small-town pizzeria that happens to sit on one of America's most famous highways.

Service is fast and friendly. Orders are placed at the counter (or with a server in the dining room depending on volume), and pizzas typically arrive in 12-20 minutes. The staff are universally cheerful and well-informed about Elmer's Bottle Tree Ranch next door — many can tell you Elmer Long stories or give you directions to other Route 66 sites in the area. Tips are appreciated; cards are accepted including tip-on-card.

The dining room is small (maybe 30 seats) and the patio adds another 20 in good weather. On weekend evenings during peak Route 66 travel season, expect a 10-20 minute wait for a table; takeout is always faster. The restaurant is family-friendly with high chairs, booster seats, and a kids' menu. Pets are welcome on the patio with proper leashing.

Cross-Eyed Cow Pizza is essentially the official restaurant of Elmer's Bottle Tree Ranch — just 5 minutes walking or 1 minute driving from the Bottle Tree Ranch entrance. The natural sequence: park at Cross-Eyed Cow, walk to the Bottle Tree Ranch, photograph and explore (30-60 minutes), return to Cross-Eyed Cow for lunch or dinner. Use the restrooms here (they're not available at the Bottle Tree Ranch). Refill water bottles. Buy a Cross-Eyed Cow T-shirt or Route 66 souvenir.

Continuing north on National Trails Highway from Cross-Eyed Cow leads to Helendale (15 minutes — site of the former Exotic World burlesque museum, now relocated, but the building and Route 66 character remain), Lenwood and Barstow (35-40 minutes — Route 66 Mother Road Museum, Casa del Desierto, Peggy Sue's 50's Diner), and onward to Newberry Springs (Bagdad Cafe — 60 minutes). Continuing south on National Trails Highway leads back to Victorville (12 minutes — California Route 66 Museum, Emma Jean's, Old Town D Street).

The pizzeria is closed Monday and Tuesday. Plan accordingly — if you're visiting the Bottle Tree Ranch on a Monday or Tuesday, eat in Victorville (Emma Jean's, Molly Brown's) or Barstow (Peggy Sue's, Idle Spurs). Saturday and Sunday lunch hours are the busiest; weekday lunch (Wed/Thu/Fri) and any dinner service are typically calmer. For 2026 Centennial peak weekends, arrive early or expect a wait.